i took away your happy ending (but i can give it back)
by WilderThanWilde
Summary: Written for SwanQueen Week 2014 Day 5: Caregiving. Post Season 3 Finale: Emma opens her door to a very drunk and bloody Regina.


**A/N:**_ I wrote this while listening to When She Loved Me by Sarah McLachlan. Again, thank you to the fake brug for bearing with me, and to my little brother who, at nine years old, writes his own swanqueen fanfictions and inspired me to write my own._

* * *

You toss and turn on your bed that night. You fail to erase from your mind the look of betrayal on her face when you both realized what you have done, who you have brought back.

"_You did this?"_

Only three words yet they have the capacity to tear your heart like a million unsharpened knives. What irks you the most is that you have brought pain to her unknowingly, right when your relationship seems to be in a better place. You have broken her heart, when it's not even yours to break to begin with. You don't even know if there's a relationship to talk about now, however convoluted things may be between the two of you. After tonight, it has surpassed the levels of complicated.

"_You are just like your mother, never thinking of consequences."_

At first you didn't know what that means. And you can't possibly ask her when right after that, she turned her back on you and walked out of the diner as fast as her heels would allow.

It's not after you have talked to your mother that it finally dawned on you the weight of your actions. It pains you to have made that realization – that you have taken away her chance at a happy ending, just like your mother did in another realm. And just like what happened years ago, she stood there, painfully witnessing her happiness being ripped apart from her.

Only this time, she didn't expect that you would be the one to do it to her. She trusted you. After all, one cannot be betrayed by someone one doesn't trust.

She trusted you, and you have failed her.

You glance at the clock. Two am. Who would be awake and bang at your door at this god forsaken hour? You look at Henry's bed, only to realize that he opted to sleep over at his grandparents' house, too excited to help with the baby.

You begrudgingly get up when the banging starts again. You feel the cold breeze on your bare body which is only covered by your usual sleepwear – a tank top and undies – when you open the door. At that moment, you don't even feel how bare you are when you realize who is standing on your doorstep.

The woman to whom you have caused sorrow. The woman who is the cause of your sleepless night.

Regina.

The tension is palpable. She is looking straight at you and you at her. A staring competition, that's what it is, one that you don't plan on winning. So you slowly bring down your stare until your eyes land on her hands. That's when you notice the blood.

"Holy shit, Regina! What happened?" You blurt out and instinctively move closer to her. She flinches, you notice and it stings you to remember that she never did that even when she thought you were trying to take away her son. So you take a step backward, hoping to make her comfortable.

"Why do you care now, Miss Swan?" she grits her mouth. It is taking all of her not to explode on you, you observe.

"I always care. You know I do." You know she's looking straight at you. But you can't meet her eyes, not when you know you can't bear to see the grief that is surely engraved there.

"Oh, so that was what you were doing – caring - when you foolishly brought someone back from the past, and that someone happens to be Robin's dead wife?"

She walks past you and stands steadfastly in your room. "So this Savior thing, it went right into your head, hmm? You think you're so valiant, you go and save everyone you think need saving?"

You don't know how to react to that so you remain standing there, waiting for the worst to pass.

"What about me? Where is your heroic family when I need saving? I need to be fucking saved too!"

Now it is your turn to flinch. You have never seen Regina so livid, even that time when you had that unspoken war over Henry. Then, she seemed deliciously challenged, tenacious, aroused even.

"Regina, c'mon, let me clean that up." You gingerly move towards her and this time, Regina doesn't recoil. You take that as permission so you take her uninjured hand and lead her to the bed.

She smells of sweet apple cider and you conclude she spent her night exploiting her liquor cabinet. "What did you do?" you whisper, too afraid to aggravate her again.

"What can't I do to worsen the situation you have created?" she scoffs.

You ignore that dig on you as apparently you have to do the whole night to survive. You reach for the first aid kit on your bedside table. Living with an almost teenage boy in a small town with magic means you always have to be ready to respond to accidents. You silently thank Snow for that lesson.

You take her hand in your lap and you delicately start to clean it.

"He's supposed to be my happy ending, you know?" Her voice breaks and you know she's about to cry, and it's not because of the pain from cleaning her wounds.

"Tinkerbell said the fairy dust never lies, and it led me to that tavern, to him, to the man with the lion tattoo," Regina recollects.

You press your lips together as you fight the urge to ask how the hell Regina can let a fairy dust choose her destiny. What do you know about destinies and fairy dust anyways, so you concentrate on Regina's wounds.

"I ran at first. I thought about how I would just screw that up again as I seem to have the capacity of doing so to everything I hold dear. Daniel, my father, Henry."

"What changed?" you asked, genuinely curious.

Regina chuckles lightly. "I don't have the slightest idea. When I first saw that tattoo on his arm, I ran away again. And then everyone was pushing me towards taking chances, being brave. And I did exactly that. Only to have it explode in my face afterwards."

You carefully settle her bandaged hand on the bed in between the two of you as you lament profoundly on what you were about to say.

"I am so deeply sorry, Regina. It was not my intention to hurt you, honestly. If I had just known…" You let your words trail because then you grasp that even if you had known, you might still do the same thing. Actually, you definitely would do the same thing, only Regina doesn't need to know that.

You take a deep breath and lie down on the bed. Regina surprises you by following suit.

"Whatever happened to you and that Walsh person?" Regina asked after several beats.

You laughed, the sound reverberating from your lungs. Regina stares at you expectantly and you try your hardest to stop. "You didn't know?" You utter in between breaths. "He's a fucking flying monkey. And he's probably dead by now, given how we ruthlessly killed those creepy bastards."

"You were engaged to a flying monkey?"

"I didn't know! Apparently Zelena got to me, too. And I never understood why. I mean, she said she would go after the things you love most, right? So why me? Surely she knew you hated me."

At that, Regina becomes tongue-tied while staring at the ceiling.

"I lied." Regina breaks the silence.

"About what?" You are genuinely confused now.

"About why I was with Robin."

"Okay?"

"I never hated you, Emma." At the mention of your first name flowing silkily from Regina's mouth, your heart flutters, yet you still are absolutely puzzled.

You hear her take a deep breath and you turn your head to her, waiting for her to continue.

"When we first met, you constantly irritated me. You were insufferably overbearing, and I found that it was quite a nice change to this monotonous town."

A smile paints on her lips and somehow you know you want that image of her engraved in your memory, in exchange of that diner incident.

"I don't know when it exactly happened - maybe after you played Savior for me numerous times - but when you disappeared into the portal, I realized my feelings towards you didn't exactly stay the same."

You feel lightheaded now, willing for Regina to continue as you become conscious to where this is going. Regina moves her body to face you and you feel yourself being lost in her hazel eyes.

"When Henry told me you were engaged with Walsh, I thought I had lost you. It's silly, when I never had you in reality. So I threw my attention to Robin, as I know the thing with him is fairly certain, with the fairy dust confirming it and all."

Breathing becomes quite grueling for you then.

"I don't really care about destiny as it has fucked me over so many times I can't even begin to count. I don't even care that I lost Robin to Marian when clearly, they belong together. All I know is that when I saw you kissing that cowardly excuse of a pirate, I lost it. So when I came home tonight, I felt sorry for myself. And I couldn't bear to look at myself in the mirror. So I punched it."

"Ah, so I'm guessing the mirror lost?" You joke because really, what can you possibly say in response to all of that?

You watch fondly as Regina roll her eyes as you expected her to do. "Really, Emma? That's what your response is?"

You move away from her and stare at the ceiling, as gazing at her turns uncomfortable while she was waiting for you to answer. Minutes pass excruciatingly and you still have no inkling on where to start to respond to that drunken admission.

"God, Regina. I… I don't know what to say." You take a deep breath as you prepare yourself. This is it. You know now is your chance, you have to say it.

"I'm not in love with Hook." You say and you smirk because that's a damn good place to start. "I... I tried so hard not to fall for you, what with your history with my mother and all, but it's so hard when you're…well, you. I saw that you were really happy with Robin and I was so fucking jealous I kissed Hook. But we're not together! I swear I would never date that smelly dude who wears way more eyeliner than me!" You pause as you recognize you have said too much yet not really stating anything.

"I guess what I'm saying is, I'm in love with you too."

Your confession meets deafening silence, and it sucks because you think you're too late, you hurt her and she can't forgive you.

Then you hear the faintest of snores and you chuckle, because the woman you just pour your heart out to has apparently fallen asleep. You settle beside her and wrap the blanket around the two of you.

Everything that has happened makes your head spin. It is a complete turnaround of how your night began. You bring your hand to her tear-stricken face. You are irrevocably, deeply in love with the former queen, and you know she has to know.

"I love you, Regina." You whisper because she is sleeping. And when you say it the next time, she has to be wide awake so you can look at her eyes while you give back her happy ending.


End file.
